real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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