This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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