I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
