i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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