I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
