you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Randomize
