She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
