the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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