jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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