you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
home. puking in laundry basket.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
