What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
