Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
