Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize