She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When are your genitals available?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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