If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
