Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
