And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
