so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
