Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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