The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
