He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
