I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
