college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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