I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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