i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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