I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
