she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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