I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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