I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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