Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
