I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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