I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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