I'm drive I can fine osifer
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
