i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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