am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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