I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
