erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
