guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
