At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
