Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I AM VODKA MAN
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
