I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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