The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
