i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
