Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
