I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So many bounce houses so little time
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
