Do you still have your period?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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