note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
