In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm way too hungover for life right now
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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