All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
