I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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