bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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