I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
