He is an equal opportunity slut.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
