how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
