So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
