Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
