dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
