A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
