he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
