i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
