sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
