you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
