quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Sober January is a disaster.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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