took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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