I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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