I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
