Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
