you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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