I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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