She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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